My liberation came when I met Luke. It had already started to dawn, but Luke, with his other-worldly charm and his way of embracing both body and soul, was the impetus I needed to shake me from the narrow religious track I was riding.

What Luke brought me was pure, unmitigated, earthy fun, a physical outlet for creativity, and the Ouachita was the perfect setting for this. In the early days, we took no drugs, drank no alcohol, and smoked no cigarettes, ye we found ecstasy in Nature. If previously the Nature had been my hermitage, now it was my playground. WE climbed trees; we swam naked,; we found every available nook and cranny and used it in a poetic game of hide and seek. God was no longer my judge. He was my playmate.

I remember Luke reading Melville on the top of the old ROTC repelling tower. I remember talking about similarities between Melville and John Irving, a thought that had been planted in Luke’s head by Tom Greer. It was at this time that the Calvinist debate was raging in my head. Luke and I discussed predestination through the lens of Melville, and I began to grasp a wisdom greater than the Bible, or at least its rival. The wisdom of humanity passed down through her artists.

I went to see Tom Greer shortly after that to put to quell the Calvinist debate once and for all. We chatted. I revealed to him the great torment of my soul. “If God predestines us, then He must decide that some are going to heaven and some to hell. I can’t accept that, but is it the truth?” Greer didn’t pay much attention to my question. He talked about John Updike. He told me about when he lived in Southern Indiana where I was from, and then he said, “You know, I don’t like Calvinists because they’re so mean.” That was my “AhHa” moment. Theology, I realized, was as much a personal and experiential endeavor after truth as it was a statement of Truth. That was the end of my tumult over the question, and it was the beginning of a new love for literature.

I decided to start studying English then, and I signed up for Johnny Wink’s British Literature class.

Reading Henry IV and the Faery Queen

What was so special about this time? It was constant Spring. My life seemed full to the bursting with Joy. What was there to be sad about? I had the distinct feeling that everything, everything, was full of goodness. I did not know hurt. I did not know deprivation. It seemed like an eternal sunshine.